With this blog growing so quick in popularity (and ridicule), we wanted to call in some backup. And with it being dives, we wanted to bring in a professional. So we called in an Aussie named Bort. Charlie (the same Charlie y’all know and love), Bort and I set off on Thursday, July 31st to visit the next two locations on our list and commence the “battle for Old Town.”

Please note that the scores reflected for this bracket are solid, with our overall impression being that we would absolutely go to either bar again. But part of the fun is finding a “winner”, right?

Before we get into the results, however, here’s a reminder on how the competition works:

On July 6th, 2025, we asked the @FortCollins subreddit for help in selecting the top eight dives to be visited. We had over 100 comments suggesting and debating the best bars in the area.

Lastly, one overall note on our rating system. Some of you may see our totals out of 100 and think back to High School where anything below a 60 is a fail. That is not the case here. We are attending these bars on random nights of the week (Wed for round one, Thurs for round two). We expect that a Saturday experience would raise all these scores. Also, we want to consider some of the best bars in America, on their best nights, as deserving scores of 90+ and that is near impossible to compare your local joints to. The scores reflected below are solid scores and our overall impression is we would absolutely go to any of these bars again.

Signed, your Director of Dives,

Before we delve into this week’s bracket, we’d like to first present our brand new segment:

The Best of Reddit’s Personal Insults from the Previous Blog

“You got Fort Collins hipster dork written all over you.”

“Bro ass bros right here”

“No missing teeth. Way too groomed. You look beautiful but missing the dive bar third day without a shower glaze.”

“Your opinions are irrelevant.”

“You fellas look like your late for roofiecolodas at Tony’s.”

And the winner for Best Insult Award goes to…

“Thanks for doing this.  At the same time yall look like yuppies and guessing college educated as well which is the antithesis for dive bars…:”

Congratulations! 

Now, with no further ado, our second matchup: Steak Out Saloon vs Town Pump!

Steak Out Saloon

1 – Pricing: 5/10

Pricing here was ok but not particularly great. There were upsides and downsides to the menu and specials. The Thursday night special was $3 shots of flavored Jameson. I ordered us three of these shots, a burger ($8), and two Lagerados ($8 each…). This came to just over $36 after tax, etc. We loved the shot special but the Lagerado price was a surprise and about as expensive as I’ve ever seen in town. Bort’s Guinesses were about the same price.

Fun fact – no one in Australia drinks Fosters. You’ll look like a wanker if you order one.

2 – Food: 6/10

This place does have a kitchen and I had heard good things. This was my first time trying the food here and it was overall good! I ordered a burger and fries. The burger had a solid taste and combination of toppings. The bun is extremely thick (thicc?) and kind of drowned out some of the flavor. However, the fries were excellent. The really thin and crispy fries that are top-notch in my book. This feels like the higher end of standard bar fare for taste, even if they’re not reinventing anything.

3 – Staff: 5.5/10

We were well taken care of. The bartender was attentive and had our drinks ready quickly. There was a little ribbing when we ordered three different flavors of shots at once, asking if we were going to share. Other than that, they mostly left us alone and allowed us to talk amongst ourselves, which is more than fine. 

4 – Patrons: 5/10

The crowd averaged around 30s in age, with a good mix of genders. People were friendly and we felt comfortable, but didn’t have any standout interactions beyond a few smiles and nods. Definitely felt like a regulars spot, but not an exclusive one. I am fairly confident this could be a different experience on a different night but this was our experience on this night.

5 – Location: 8.5/10

Nestled right in Old Town on Mountain Ave., with plenty of bike racks and car parking (especially if you swing around to the west side of Mason or the nearby garage). Super easy to find, super easy to get to, and within a stones throw of several other helpful businesses such as: Slyce pizza, Big Als burgers, Comet Chicken, and Trailhead Tavern. 

6 – Activities: 8/10

Steak Out may have the best activities of the bracket so far. Foosball, Big Buck Hunter, two pool tables, darts, a shuffleboard table, and even a claw machine with rubber ducks as the prizes. No better way to catch the eye of your future love than by spending $8 to win them a bath toy. Maybe they’ll invite you to join them and the duck in said bath? You could spend hours here and not get bored, which makes it a strong contender on activity points alone.

7 -Decor: 7/10

This place has the dive aesthetic nailed. Wood-paneled walls, beer signs, sideways TVs showing the draft list, and multiple moose and deer heads. It’s not themed so much as it is layered with time and character. There’s tons of seating and the space is surprisingly roomy, even when busy.

8 – Bathrooms: 4.5/10

Basic bathroom, much like the West End or Swing Station’s. Slight expected dive bathroom smell. Not much in the way of graffiti or stickers. Just… average. They were clean enough, and there was TP and soap, so no complaints, though we know some of you just dry your hands on your pants…

9 – Entertainment: 2.5/10

Just sports on the TVs really. Perhaps there is music or some other organized entertainment on other nights but nothing was happening on this Thursday that we visited. The activities make up for it, but if you’re not playing games, the “background” entertainment is minimal.

10 – Stickiness of Floor: 2/10

Not sticky. Some wear and tear, sure, but overall clean underfoot. You could wear the thinnest of sandals and they would stay on your feet without problem. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? We still don’t really know.

11 – Extra Credit: 1.5/10

Not much to report here, we racked our brains for a while and the best we came up with was: “Charlie got a free soda water with lime with multiple refills. Keep your DD’s hydrated!” There wasn’t any specific vibe or surprise that warranted more. A good experience overall, just not anything extra that pushed it over the top.

Total Score: 55.5/110

Town Pump

1 – Pricing: 7.5/10

This is an area where Town Pump flexes. A $2.75 PBR tallboy? Yes, please. $4 for a Fat Tire? That’s how you get returning customers. The other drafts were $6 and solid enough options. Best of all is Town Pump’s classic Jello shots for $2 each (served in actual shot glasses). Great value here, especially when you consider this is in the heart of Old Town.

2 – Food: 2.5/10

We all ordered the Jell-O shot and cherry combo meal deal™. I can’t say it’s where I would take visiting relatives for dinner but I wasn’t disappointed. However, it would be (and is) a stretch to call it “food.” The location is in Old Town and there are plenty of nearby restaurants. Plus bags of chips/peanuts for anyone really desperate.

3 – Staff: 9/10

Shout out to Jessica. One bartender running the place solo and absolutely crushing it. She was quick, funny, and full of brief (she was very busy) stories. She kept everyone engaged and made the bar feel like we were all regulars. She even settled several of our debates without hesitation. Service with personality goes a long way.

4 – Patrons: 8.5/10

We ended up chatting with a family visiting their CSU daughter, saw a few people we knew from around town, and made friends with several people as they ordered drinks crowded all around us at the bar. This is a very small space, so the intimacy makes it easy to get to know your neighbor, particularly when you’re seated at the bar. One of the best vibes yet.

5 – Location: 8/10

Also in Old Town. A little less parking and bike racks compared to Steak Out, but still a great central spot. A lot of other bars around, such as a favorite of mine – High Point. Not as much in the way of fast casual food nearby as Steak Out but that is an extremely relative thing to say, since both bars are about 2 blocks away from one another.

6 – Activities: 1/10

Unless elbowing your way to the bar counts as an activity, not much here. No pool table. No games. It’s a social bar, not a game bar. And that’s fine, we loved our time there even without activities.

7 – Decor: 8/10

Beer and liquor signs, deer heads, christmas lights, and a healthy layer of stickers. There’s a rawness to it that feels lived-in and iconic. Town Pump embraces its age with personality and decades of community additions to the decor. It had all the Colorado vibes you expect in a Manhattan-sized space.

8 – Bathrooms: 8.5/10

They are not big. Definitely only one person at a time. The room was clean but also still somehow grungy. Stickers everywhere, writing on the walls, and they even had directions for those of us inebriated enough to need them, such as “piss roit ‘ere.” It’s the kind of bathroom that adds to a dive’s character. “This is everything I want in a dive bar bathroom!!!” – Charlie immediately after pissing according to the “piss roit ‘ere” instructions.

9 – Entertainment: 2.5/10

Just sports on the TV, but in a bar this small and social, it’s more about people watching and conversation anyway. We gave them some extra points as well because their patio is on College Ave (with another on the side in the alley) which makes for better people watching/interacting.

10 – Stickiness of Floor: 2/10

Real hardwood. More worn than sticky. You can feel the years under your feet, but not in a bad way. Does no one in this town have a sticky floor?? (Charlie would like the record to show that he appreciated the real wood floors and wanted to add points for this, but was overruled by his co-judges, Bort and Alex, who really held the line on this one.)

11 – Extra Credit: 6.5/10

We ordered a round of Jell-O shots and they came with a cherry on top! These shots are a community favorite and people would come simply to do a round before heading to the next location. Also, sticking with Charlie’s love of the Tennessee Vols’ pitcher Karlyn Pickens, there were actually Vols signs on the wall. The FoCo – Knoxville connection is apparently strong. Lastly – that rubber duck you won in the claw machine at Steak Out? Bring it to the bartenders at Town Pump and they’ll skewer it with a straw like a bunch of impalers not named Vlad.

Total Score: 64/110

While I certainly enjoyed both bars, the scores reflected our overall opinion that we had more fun at the Town Pump than Steak Out. The intimacy of the place makes it really easy to make new friends, particularly when you’re seated at the bar. Steak Out certainly has its place. It is the superior sports bar and would be great for a Sunday afternoon. However for a Thursday night out, Town Pump all the way!

The Winner: Town Pump

Next up, we’ll see how Pitchers stacks up against Matt’s Place as we once again leave the Old Town area. Stay Tuned!